Trans Man Walks into a Gay Bar

As a cis queer woman, I am always eager to read LGBTQ+ books - every aspect of the broader queer family's experience is of interest to me. This book caught my eye because I have trans gay male friends, and I wanted to be able to recommend this book to them if it was good.

I am recommending this book not only to the gay transmen I know, but to anyone who is interested in hidden stories within the queer community. As the author illustrates, trans gay men have a special story to tell - gaining the right to enter a closed-off world, but also facing discrimination and pressure from both inside their new community, and those who cannot access it.

Harry Nicholas is young, but he writes with substantial wisdom, informed by the queer history he shares throughout the book. He knows who is to thank for his ability to be an out trans gay man, and he does so by weaving their story through his own.

His memoir is quite personal, though, and is not a self-help or how-to book. His experiences with sex addiction and journeys through clubs and bathhouses will not echo with every reader, but they are interesting nonetheless as the story of a member of our queer family. It is easy to get to know Nicholas through his writing, even as he deals with depression by bedding as many men as possible.

For gay transmen reading this book, there will be moments of familiarity, both joyous and upsetting. For everyone else, I encourage you to explore the life Harry Nicholas has shared with us - as much of it as he has lived so far. If he writes a follow-up in 20 years, I will certainly look for it on bookstore shelves.

Thanks to #NetGalley for the opportunity to read this eARC.